brb crying

028: little women, the female experience, + finding magic after loss

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0:00 | 58:03

This week, we dive into Greta Gerwig's acclaimed adaptation of Little Women (2019) and the timeless themes that have made Louisa May Alcott's novel resonate for over 150 years.

Nins explores the emotional power of Little Women, from Jo March's fierce independence and rejection of societal expectations to the unforgettable monologue about womanhood, ambition, love, and loneliness. We discuss why the story remains deeply relevant today and what it reveals about the complexities of the female experience.

Then, Arns shares a moving reader essay from The Good Trade  titled "Special Mission to the Moon" by Maria T. D'hyver. The prose speaks of grief, imagination, and a beloved dog sent on a "secret mission to the moon." The conversation expands into childhood wonder, spirituality, hope, loss, and why growing up doesn't have to mean abandoning magic.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Greta Gerwig's Little Women (2019)
  • Louisa May Alcott and the legacy of Jo March
  • Women, ambition, marriage, and identity
  • The Jo March and Laurie proposal scene
  • Loneliness, love, and the female experience
  • Grief after losing a pet
  • Imagination as a tool for healing
  • Spirituality, reincarnation, and wonder
  • Why adults still need magic

Content warning: pet loss, grief

0:00 - Intro
6:07 - Nins: Little Women
36:36 - Arns: The Good Trade reader essay
56:01 - Outro

Referenced in this episode:

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brb crying—hosted by longtime best friends Nins & Arns—is a podcast where we explore the songs, books, TV shows, films, pop culture moments, and personal stories that help us laugh, cry, heal, and feel a little less alone. Crying is our superpower, and by sharing what makes us cry in a way that makes us laugh, we show how crying helps us connect with ourselves and each other.

Intro

SPEAKER_03

Hi, I'm Angela Nans.

SPEAKER_01

I'm Ariana Kempis.

SPEAKER_03

And this is BRB Crying Hello everyone.

SPEAKER_01

Welcome back to BRB Crying. I'm Ariana, also known as Arnes, and I'm Angela, also known as Ninz.

SPEAKER_03

And we are here today to get into the thick of it once more. We cry a lot. Surprise. And we talk a lot. So let's combine both our hobbies. Our only hobbies. Our only hobbies. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Uh if you're new here, welcome. If you're old here, also welcome. Uh that's it. That's it. Uh see you next week. Um, how have you been? Well, listeners, sick again. You know, I think this is this is the season that either Ninz or Arns was sick, like every episode. Mm-hmm. It's winter. What are you gonna do? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I think I was sick for one episode. I was sick for five. You were sick for this whole season. Yeah. And it was so funny when I was editing that episode, because I was like, babe, get a tissue. You sound f congested as hell. Like I was like. Oh my god, this made me cry so bad.

SPEAKER_01

Let me fucking tell you something. First of all, when you were sick like that, like sometimes there's nothing to blow out. It's just like it's up here. True. This time though, it's my voice is a little raspy, sexy. Let's rebrand it. Sexy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Well, you know what? Appreciate you showing up today. Don't get me sick. Ooh. No promises.

SPEAKER_01

We are.

SPEAKER_03

We're setting the worst example. This is like really like, what are we preaching here?

SPEAKER_01

Six feet who?

SPEAKER_03

Um, how are you? Um, I am good. I've actually picked up Animal Crossing again. Oh, okay. I just decided that I really wanted like a cozy game or like cozy thing to do. Bitch, that shit's not cozy. I got a farm. I got a shop for furniture items. You know what I mean? You're doing it to yourself. It could be cozy. But you guys, like, my island is so fucking cute. It's crazy. It's crazy. But it's it's kind of nice to like have something that like I'm excited to do again. Yeah. You know? Not this podcast. Because fuck this, right? I don't do this to decompress. No, I do this to impress. Compress. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I've been doing a lot of that. Um, but I did want to share today before we get started on our stories, this really cute thing that happened to me over the last couple of weeks. So, for those that have been listening to our episodes here, earlier this season, I shared a story about our fucking favorite literary masterpiece of all time, Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love. Impeccable piece of writing. And one of our listeners reached out to us and said, Oh my gosh, like, I'm gonna check this out. And it was so funny because she was like, Oh, it's kind of long. I'll see like how how well I can keep up with this. And this is someone that I've never met in person. She actually left a comment on one of our episodes from season two, and from there kind of like followed us on socials and we followed her back. Turns out she also has her own podcast. This is our listener, Taina. She is the co-host of Messy Liberation. Really good podcast. Check her out. But anyway, so she started messaging us as she was diving into this fan fiction, and I was so excited for her because as one is. As one is, because it's the best fucking thing I've ever read in my life. And I was like giddy because every, you know, couple days she would message me like, oh my god, I just got to this part.

SPEAKER_01

I love when people do this. I know. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03

And so it was just, it was just this incredible thing where like I had never met this person in my life, and yet here we are building these bridges and connecting on something that is so lovely. And it was like, wow, this is this is so fucking cool. Like this would have never happened. I am really not one to just like find friends on the internet and like put myself out there, but yeah, this podcast has really like changed me in that way. Yeah. And I'm seeing how beautiful it is to do that. So, Taina, thank you so much for listening to us and then also like actually listening, actually, like immersing yourself in something that we recommend. I'm so happy that you enjoyed it. And she was like, I'm not a crier, but like this fucking got me. And I was like, Yeah, yeah. She was like, brilliant, impeccable, you know, like just like, yes, exactly, exactly. So yeah, that was really cool. That was really cool.

SPEAKER_01

Community, dude. Community, who would have thought? Incredible, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I love that.

SPEAKER_01

That's so cool. Yeah, I love those synchronicities and those little points of connection. Yeah. Because why the fuck else are we here? Yeah. To stress ourselves out, compress. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's it. That's what I got for today. Okay. I have nothing. Well, that's fine because we can just get right on to it. Okay. Well, here I go. Here you go.

Nins: Little Women

SPEAKER_03

All right. Well, starting it off with a question. Oh. And I already know that your answer is probably going to be different than what it was two years ago now that you have a toddler. But my question for you is, how do you like to spend time on airplanes?

SPEAKER_01

Thank you for phrasing it that way. Reading. Reading. Yeah. You know what? Put fucking 40 movies on there. I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna read my fucking book.

SPEAKER_03

That's literally what I put here. Really? Yeah. Because that's exactly what I do too. I put, as we all know, I'm like super edgy and different. So I actually get so much reading done on flights. And I have this playlist on my Spotify that's lovingly entitled Instrumentals Go Hard. And I just put like my noise-cancelling earphones on. I listen to that, I block out all the babies. And fuck the babies, dude. And just dive into my little book about fairies, you know. I rarely watch movies on planes. It's too hard. It's too hard. Well, I rarely watch movies, period.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And if I do, it's usually one that I've seen 20 times before, which I realize now is because of my anxiety. Like I don't like knowing that I'm about to immerse myself in an emotional roller coaster in like a compressed amount of time.

SPEAKER_00

Mmm.

SPEAKER_03

So that's usually why I tend to avoid movies, especially ones that I know are like gonna be heavy. Yeah. Interesting. Like I saw the trailer for a star is born. I'm like, bitch, I'm not fucking watching that, dude. Like have not watched it to this day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, dude. Too antsy.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_03

I just knew. I was like, one of them's gonna die. Don't need to see it. Don't need to see it. Don't need to see it. You know what I mean? Okay, but for whatever reason, whatever reason, two years ago, I was on a long haul flight, and I decided that I was going to watch a movie because it was one that I actually wanted to see. I had heard a lot about it. I was seeing a lot of scenes of it on my TikTok, and I was like, okay, that looks pretty good. And it was getting a lot of awards buzz upon its release, too. And so me, who's snooty and who only consumes highbrow art, E.G. fairy books, I was like, okay, fine, let's watch this film. So I watch it on this fucking crowded flight economy. And I'm like, Loser. I'm like, oh my god, like this is why you fucking watch movies. It was so good. I watched this movie and I was like, um, this was so good. I actually need to go back and re-watch certain scenes again, which I've never, I never do that. And I've since watched it in less chaotic settings again, and it hit even harder. So we are gonna be talking about this movie today, and that movie is the 2019 film Little Women. Oh.

SPEAKER_01

Have you seen it? I have not. Have you read it? No, I haven't read it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's you know, it's on that list of should slash want.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so sources for today, aside from the film, is a 2019 podcast episode on the little woman movie from Next Best Picture, a behind the scenes featurette on the film from Film Is Now Press Agency, and a 2018 podcast episode on Louisa May Alcott from The History Chicks, a woman's history podcast. So this movie is directed by Greta Gerwig and is starring a fucking elite cast. Cersei Ronan, Florence Pugh, puhta. Emma Watson, Eliza Scanlon, Laura Dern, Timothy Chalamet, Meryl Streep. Fucking incredible. Incredible. Now, of course, we cannot talk about this movie without first diving into the book on which it's based, which was written by Louisa May Alcott in 1868. So for some Louisa May Alcott contest. No, please. She's rolling in her grave. She 100% just slapped the shit out of me in the spirit of world. Okay. So Louisa May Alcott was born in the 1830s. But I swear to God, this fucking queen is truly, truly a feminist icon who was literally millennia ahead of her time. I hear the phrase 1800s, my eyes like glaze over. But let me just get through this. So she grew up in this really progressive household. Her parents were transcendentalists. So they were like very intellectual, and her dad would like rub elbows with Ralph Waldo Emerson and like Henry David Thoreau. Like imagine you just fucking like roll out of bed and fucking Ralph Waldo Emerson's in your kitchen, like shooting the shit. Uncle Ralph. So you can imagine how that type of upbringing really instilled in her the intelligence and the confidence to rise above the gendered stereotypes of the time. And through her writing, she really fought to expand the idea of what women could be in this world. And it's chilling to me to know that this book was written one and a half centuries ago, but is still so, so fucking relevant today. 1800s my ass, okay? This this fucking story is modern as hell. So of course, blanket spoiler warning for a story that is 157 years old. Don't tell me. But you haven't read it, so I'll do my best. I was I was kind of hoping you had read it. Yeah, oh of course. But I'll do my best. I'll do my best to paint this picture. But I also just want to give a huge fucking disclaimer that this book and this film are transcendent works of art. And I am so dumb.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

That's a blanket disclaimer that we need to like we need to put that in our description because I am so dumb and I am so incapable of capturing all of its magic, all of its genius in whatever bullshit little segment I put together today. Of course. So please. Yes. We will not crucify you. Okay, thank you. Just do not take my word for it and just see for yourself why this book is one of the greatest in history and how this film flawlessly brought it to life. Okay. So do you know anything about this story? No, because you know I don't like to know anything about anything. Well, no choice. All right, so Little Women follows the story of four sisters: Joe, Meg, Beth, and Amy, all of whom are part of the March family living in Massachusetts during and after the Civil War. It is loosely based on Louisa May Alcott's life, who also grew up with three sisters, and it's basically widely accepted that Louisa based the main character, Joe, after herself. Joe is Louisa, Louisa is Joe. But the book chronicles both the sisters' idyllic childhoods, but then follows each of them into adulthood as they each choose different paths in life. So while the book is told in chronological order, the film is actually nonlinear. It weaves together the past and present, jumps back and forth between this seven-year period. In the film, Jo is played by Sertia Ronan. And I just need to take a second for Miss Serse Ronan because she she's so fucking good in this movie. Brilliant, brilliant. And uh Joe, her character, is this incredible heroine. She is the second oldest sister, and she is fiercely independent, wildly outspoken, ambitious, and creative. And she wants to earn a living by being a writer, which was very uncommon for the time. And she's also adamantly against the idea of marriage and really rebels against a lot of social norms and customs expected from women at the time. Again, just like Louisa Mayalcott herself. Her older sister, Meg, played by Emma Watson, is definitely more complicit in the societal structures surrounding women. She's soft and feminine and yearns for romance and desires a life filled with beautiful things. Beth, the second youngest sister, played by Eliza Scanlon, just a pure little sweetheart, you know. She's kind of the glue holding her sisters together. Everyone loves her and just adores her for being this really gentle soul. She's also a really gifted pianist. And lastly, Amy, the youngest sister, played by Florence Pugh. As the child and as the youngest, she's definitely very spoiled and bratty and selfish in the way that all children are. But then you see her grow up, and she turns out to be this refined, mature, intelligent realist and this artist. She's a painter. So again, this story and this film is so rich and complex, and there's a reason that you have scholars dedicating their entire careers analyzing this original work. And then again, when you throw in how Greta Gerwig was able to adapt the story to the screen with such authenticity while still making it modern and relevant. No words. And if there were, I am most certainly not the one qualified to say them. Okay? I am so dumb. But fortunately, on this pod, we have a very specific thesis, which is what made us cry. So although I could ramble on about this forever, I do just have a few subplots and scenes that I want to highlight today. And to provide some background for those scenes, I want to first hone in on this central difference between Jo and Meg. As I mentioned, Jo is this ambitious writer who really wants to lead her own life. Whereas Meg, the oldest sister, is a romantic. And my guy John Brooke, he's hurting a little financially, okay? He's not he's not ballin' out. Loser. Ew. What? But Meg falls in love with him anyway. And they decide to get married. So this first scene that I want to share with you is of Joe and Meg right before the wedding.

SPEAKER_02

Just showed Arnes that scene.

SPEAKER_03

And in it, you have Meg getting ready for her wedding. And she sees Joe kind of pensively looking out the window. And she's like, What? What is it? And Joe basically is like, listen, dude, you don't have to do this. You don't have to get married. We can run away. It'll be just us two. We'll figure it out as sisters. Which TBH, like, when I watched, was a little taken aback. I was like, what? Like, why wouldn't you be happy for your sister on her wedding day? Like, John Brooks' a good dude, you know, he's I mean, he's poor as fuck, but you know, he's solid. But it makes sense for Joe as this character because Joe's not fucking around. She genuinely hates the idea of marriage and the way that it almost erases a woman's identity belonging to a man. And she also hates that she feels like she's going to lose her sister. But Meg sits her down and says, But I want to get married. And Joe's like, why? And Meg's like, because I love him. Just because my dreams are different than yours doesn't mean they're unimportant. I want a home and a family. And I'm willing to work and struggle, but I want to do it with John. And then Joe kind of accepts this truth and just laments again that she's just sad that she's losing her sister. And Meg is like, I'm not going anywhere. And like, you know. Don't worry, you'll understand when it's your turn to get married. And Joe's like, I'm not fucking getting married. You know? Okay, so now that we have that as some of the context, we now have to talk about Joe and Lori. Lori, whose full name is Theodore Lawrence, and played by my current crush, Timothy Chalamet, is Joe's neighbor and childhood best friend. It was his tutor that Meg ended up falling in love with. So Joe and Lori are kind of Kind of like two peas in a pod. And Joe, who is often described as a tomboy, definitely displays this kind of brotherly affection towards Lori. You know, this boyish kind of knucklehead, shoving, punching, teasing type of relationship. And because we're so conditioned to think that any story involving a friendship between a boy and a girl only has one possible ending, you're led to believe that something will eventually happen between Joe and Lori. And it's no surprise that Lori develops feelings for Joe. So I am going to play this next scene for you. For those that love this movie, you already fucking know. Like this is one that I would see constantly on my for you page because let me just say again, Sergea Ronin in Timite Shimamale. Fucking masterclass in acting in this scene. I'm so excited to show you this right now. So okay, I'm gonna show Arnes that scene.

SPEAKER_02

Wasn't that incredible? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03

I'm curious to know like what your thoughts are since you don't really have a lot of context about the story.

SPEAKER_01

Well, after watching just that scene, I feel like yelling. Like, I don't know, I just feel so like energetically charged because that was so like that was so intense.

SPEAKER_03

Wasn't that just brilliant acting though? Yeah. I literally was like bopping on my flight, and I was like, sorry? Like what? Oh okay. So let me lay out this scene just in case you, like Arnes, have not seen this yet. So in this scene, Lori finally professes his love for Joe, and he proposes to her, it's no use, Jo. We've gotta have it out. I've loved you ever since I've known you. Was my acting like just as good? Incredible Oscar-worthy. Um so in any other rom-com, this would be the moment, right? And you even have, you know, the romantic music playing in the background, and you're kind of led to believe that this will be some beautiful, magical scene, but that is not what ends up happening here. Jo sees where this is going and immediately starts to panic, and she starts adamantly refusing and pushes back and she rejects him outright. Not because she doesn't care for him, but because she doesn't love him in the way that he wants her to. I can't change how I feel, and it would be a lie to say I do when I don't. I don't believe I will ever marry. I'm happy as I am, and I love my liberty too well to be in any hurry to give it up. She's fucking standing on business, dude. She she told you already she's not getting married. But in all seriousness, this scene is so heartbreaking to watch because you know it devastates Joe to have to turn Lori down. This is this is her best friend, this is her childhood friend. But it's also so brave because how many women have had to endure a life they didn't want because of one moment where they didn't want to be mean. I think this is the last flashback scene. Again, the movie is nonlinear, so kind of after this, we fast forward to seven years later, or we kind of jump back and forth. But Jo has spent some time in New York giving it an honest shot as a writer, and then she comes back home to tend to her family, and she's kind of in this, she's kind of at a crossroads. She's not quite sure what to do next. She's still trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life, what she wants to make of her life. And it's been years since this exchange between her and Lori, and it's obviously been weighing on her. And so I will play you one more scene, which is a conversation between her and her mother.

SPEAKER_02

And this is kind of this is the scene that I really wanted to dwell on today.

SPEAKER_03

So in this scene, Jo is talking to her mom, and she is expressing regret over rejecting Laurie. And she says, Perhaps, perhaps I was too quick in turning him down, Laurie. And her mom asks, Do you love him? And Joe says, if he asked me again, I think I would say yes. Do you think he'll ask me again? And her mom's like, but do you love him? And Joe says, I care more to be loved. I want to be loved. And her mom says, that's not the same as loving. And um then we get to the reason why Sertia Ronan was fucking nominated for best actress for this movie. So please uh don't insult the way I read this monologue, but this is how Joe responds. I just feel I just feel like women they they have minds and they have souls as well as just hearts, and they've got ambition, and they've got talent, as well as just beauty, and I'm so sick. I'm so sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for. I'm so sick of it. But I'm I'm so lonely. What could I even say to follow that? I know that we joke all the time about how every story we share on this pod is about love. And to be honest, I love that. I I love that there is so much love in this world. But 157 years ago, one woman dared to question whether women could be more than just that. Women are so many things. We're artists, we're dreamers. We bring forth beauty in this world not just from our physicality, but through our minds, through our hearts, through our big feelings. And as inspiring as this monologue from Joe is, I I noticed that we often overlook her last line too. But I'm so lonely. Yes, women are so many incredible things, but we don't have to be one or the other. One day we can want this, the next we can change our minds. But that's what it is to be a woman soft and strong all at once, constantly trying to find that balance. And while Joe March is a revolutionary, eternal character that will forever represent powerful women everywhere, this film also shows us that there's more than one way to be strong. And that's why I wanted to highlight that scene with Meg March. Because yes, Meg took the typical route. Meg married and became a mother and had her family. But again, that's the whole point of the story. Women have so many choices of what to make with their life, and there are no wrong ones. Women can also choose love because that too requires bravery. And wanting a quiet life with a partner by your side is also a dream worth pursuing. The story of these four sisters will live forever so long as women around the world continue to live forever. Every time someone reads it or watches it or experiences it in some way, there will always be a new takeaway. That is how rich and compelling this story is. Poignant, beautiful, painful, and wonderful. And watch in awe as she balances it all.

SPEAKER_01

When her face crumples and she's like, but I'm so lonely, like fuck, like we really do feel the need to be one or the other. I feel like it's taken so long for me to understand duality and being able to hold identities, multiple identities or like desires, seemingly opposing ones. And so to watch her have to choose because that was the reality of her life back then. It's de it's devastating.

SPEAKER_03

Her life back then, sure, but that is still what we experience today. Nothing has changed.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. You know. Like, maybe we shouldn't have gotten married. Like, you know, like maybe if we could do it all again, do away with the like the norm and you know, all everything that she's she's talking about here, right? Like, why do we need to like confine ourselves? All this, but but there's still exactly like what she say, there was still like this pull to like, of course, who who doesn't want to not be lonely? Like, who doesn't want to be loved?

SPEAKER_00

Like fuck.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

There's so much to say, and like this is just two of the four sisters. You know, I I don't even fucking mention Amy more than once. And she has her whole oh my god. Yeah. There's a whole we'll do a follow-up. I honestly think you would really like this movie. I'm sure it's been on my list. Yeah, it's really, really good. There's just so many things to there's so many things to process about the female experience. Sorry, I'm like so dumb, you know?

SPEAKER_01

Like, no, but you know what? I think also it is as mere humans, we literally do not have words to encapsulate the bigness of it all. It is overwhelming. And us on our silly little paw just like try to condense it into like 57 minutes in like a girly pop way. Yeah. Yeah. Like being funny. Yeah. Yeah. It really is just something to be felt. Mm-hmm. I don't think the smartest person in the world could capture.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah. And I guess my whole takeaway from this story and like what Louisa May Alcott did and what Greta Grwig did, it's just like it gives me chills to know how old the story is and yet how relevant so many pieces of it is still. There's just so many layers and feelings and choices and paths that women have to constantly sort through every second that they're alive. And it was just so beautifully represented in this story and in this film adaptation. My girls, Louisa, Greta.

SPEAKER_01

Y'all fucking did it. They fucking did it. I I need to watch this and read it. As you were saying it, uh, explaining the story, I was like, oh wait, I definitely tried to read this when I was like 10. You know what?

SPEAKER_03

I think I tried to read this in my 20s, and I'm s I was still so dumb. Like I literally, the fuck, and you know what's so funny. One of the sources for my story today was this podcast, Next Best Picture. And there was like a woman who was speaking to like her lifelong love for this novel, and she's like, I first read it when I was like eight. And I was like, what the fuck? I was reading Amelia Bedelia. You know what I mean? Like, I was not jumping into fucking little women. Okay. She takes the sticks, she's hitting the road. Again, just wanted to highlight specifically the parts that that wrecked me, and that's why we're here. That's why we're here. Women, they have minds. Turns out. That's gonna be the title of this segment for sure.

Arns: The Good Trade reader essay

SPEAKER_01

Okay, it's your turn. All right, let's do this. I got a actually a pretty short and sweet one today. Okay. Little. We always I feel like we always say short and sweet, and it never is. I've doomed myself by saying that. So for the past seven years, I've been getting a daily newsletter in my inbox called The Good Trade. And it is the one newsletter that I have never unsubscribed from. I used to get so many daily newsletters about like politics and news and like startups and you know, all of all of this.

SPEAKER_03

One about like a podcast about crying too, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unsubscribe from that one is so quick. Um But I realized that like I would just when I would get to the point where I would just delete all of them without opening them for like a year, then I'd be like, okay, okay, I think it's time to unsubscribe. And I realized that engaging in news cycles and like trying to wrap my head around everything that was going on and breaking technology and news in the startup world. It was so it was too much.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Can I just say Aaron Parnas, I fucking love you, but babe, sometimes I can't do it. What? What is Do you know who that is? No. He is like our millennial media savior. Okay. He actually does a lot of like breaking news that is unbiased and not part of a big conglomerate network that's bought and owned by billionaires. But like every day he's like breaking news, and I'm like, Erin, I can't do this right now.

SPEAKER_01

No, exactly, exactly. And I think that it put me in this state of existential dread. And I was like, this isn't helping anybody. So delete, delete, delete. Um, but I also realized that whatever information I needed to know would somehow find its way to me. Weirdly through social media, because I, especially in the past couple of years, have found it to be so much more reliable in terms of like on the ground reporting and like what was happening in like Gaza and like Palestine, people first hand accounts. But anyway, this newsletter. It's a good one. I've held on to it, and it's called The Good Trade again, and it is catered towards women.

SPEAKER_03

Little women.

SPEAKER_01

Little women. And it focuses on themes like self-care and slow living and thoughtfulness, intentionality, and was founded by Amy Ann Cadwell in 2014. And this is from her website, amincadwell.com. They built the brand and they now reach over a hundred million readers annually. I think they have like 250,000 actual subscribers to the that daily newsletter. So, I mean, it's been featured all over the place, but yeah, I'll kind of talk through what a newsletter looks like. It's like it opens up with a quote or some other affirming sentiment. And then there's a listening recommendation, like a podcast. Could be us one day. And like a playlist or like a song. And then there's the featured article, which is like the meat of it all, and usually the subject line of the email. Sometimes it's about mental health or fertility or other, you know, weightier topics, but other times it's like 10 organic cotton underwear brands. So it it ranges. Because women are complex is what I'm saying. No, exactly. This, and that is why I love this newsletter because it does all of it. Like, I want to be a dumb bitch, you know, I want to bake a little bread. Uh, and then I also want to dive into spirituality and really complex things.

SPEAKER_03

So dude, Louisa May would have absolutely subscribed. Oh, yeah. Um, she just hit me again.

unknown

Shut the fuck up, bitch.

SPEAKER_01

Um, I'm saying what I would do because I wouldn't.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um, but anyway, yeah, there's a recipe, usually it's plant-based. Then there's a list of shorter links, like videos or like things on social media or book recommendations, graphs. Sometimes there's job boards, journaling prompts, and lately it's been ending with a quote from a reader. But it has just been consistently such a source of goodness and light and all of that without also banishing the heavy. All of it. Because women are complex. And one thing they do periodically is they feature reader essays. So they put out a call to their readers and encourage them to submit an essay based on different themes. And while most of the readers are women, because it's geared towards women, they span all walks of life, all different ages and ethnic backgrounds, and so their life experiences are vastly different. So you can imagine the range of these essays. It is definitely one of my favorite parts of this newsletter when I see that annual call. Um, I've always wanted to submit one, but I've always been like, I don't know. Like what can I write about? And so instead, I started this podcast where I write an essay every week and then read it. Um and then market it and then edit it and then make reels. Yeah. So much more work. I just don't have time to submit.

SPEAKER_00

Like, what would I write about?

SPEAKER_01

Uh but today I just wanted to talk to you about one of those essays. So it is called The Secret Mission to the Moon by Maria T. Devert. I don't know if that's how you pronounce it. It's D apostrophe H Y V E R. Okay. French, maybe. Again, lost all of France. Louisa just punched me again. Jesus Christ. But it was published in December 2023. And in her author bio at the end of the essay, it reads, Maria T. DeVere was born and raised in Mexico City and now lives in New Jersey with her husband and two sons. She studied design, but has been a high school English and literature teacher for the past 10 years and has a passion for reading and writing. We don't know anything else about I have tried to look. Of course I try, you know. Uh, because she didn't link her socials, you know. She's not in it for the clout. She's just this person who's gifting us with this little slice of her life. I I would totally link like Aronna is the host. Are you kidding me? Leave us a review. Here's our hat. I would do it all. My God. But yeah, so I'm just gonna read the essay. I've condensed it a little bit just for the purposes of this pod. There is this belief that. As adults, we have to see the world through more serious eyes than when we were kids. But must we lose the little joy or happiness certain things can bring us just by changing our perspective? Aren't we allowed to find silver linings that will help us cope with the severity of what surrounds us in our adult lives? Recently, we lost our beloved dog, Kia, to cancer. And while it has been very difficult on my husband and me, I had to think of a way to explain to my kid that his dog would not be around anymore. If by the time he came back from school, he didn't see Kia to say hi, what could we ever say to explain her absence? I couldn't help but look at the situation through my kid's eyes. He loves a good story. He loves rocket ships, he loves the moon, he counts the stars in the sky, and he adores Kia. My imagination and creativity's cogwheels started turning with the stories I could create and he would enjoy. Many parents suggest you should tell your kids the truth. So that would be talking to a three-year-old about death and hoping he will understand the concept. Forgive me if I have no mind to be able to even process the conversation in which I explain what death is to a toddler. We decided that giving him something to wonder and be excited about would be a better way to deal with the reality. So, our dog went to the moon on a rocket ship on a secret mission. What that statement has done in my kid's imagination has created space for joy. He looks at the sky and tries to find the rocket. He sometimes finds it and we cheer on. Other times he tells us that the World Trade Center building is the rocket ship that Kia is going to drive, and he starts the countdown for liftoff. He wonders about what she's doing on the moon, mainly peeing where she shouldn't. But he wants to send her things in a box through the mail because she might be missing her favorite toy or her blanket. He would tell us about all the things Kia is doing in space and that she can see the stars just like he can. Every time he talks about her, there's a smile on his face, a spark in his eyes as he goes into another liftoff countdown, and my heart feels lighter. I wonder if the reason why we don't create these stories for ourselves might have to do with the process of growing up. We are told that we need to stop fantasizing and be more realistic, to take life more seriously. But what is life without some wonder? It's not about losing all sense of reality or falling in denial, but about being able to cope with the pain. It doesn't take an author or a creative writer to come up with a story that will bring a smile to our face and a moment of happiness. I know my dog died. I held her paw as she took her last breath. But thinking about her being dressed up in an astronaut suit makes me smile, and I'd rather smile. So yes, every time I look at the sky, I look for a rocket ship. Every time I see the moon, I find myself imagining my dog happily napping on its surface. Every time I have to explain to my kid why our dog is not with us, my imagination runs wild with all these stories about what she is doing in the secret mission on the moon. So this essay was published about a month before Cosmo, my dog, passed away. And his health had already been in decline for well over a year. So you can imagine how much this hurt, just purely based on what I was going through at the time, knowing that, you know, the end was coming for him. But I honestly am not really gonna focus on that today, in part because I talked about it at length during episode 10, and that was my sacred space for dedicating it to him and talking about him. But also because I don't actually think that that's what this essay is about. Like the author said, when we grow up, we suddenly feel the need to see the world as adults, and we tell ourselves that this is just how the world works. Ghosts aren't real, spirits aren't real, extraterrestrials aren't real. Our dogs pass away. We hope maybe they're in some sort of doggy heaven, and we operate within these confines because that's what we were taught. And anything that defies basic logic is impossible. And it's not just impossible, but it's foolish. The world tells us to look at these people who dream and dismiss them as crazy. But there is so much magic in believing that there's more to life than what we can see with the naked eye. You know, when we let our imaginations roam, we become children again. Anything seems possible because everything is possible. But if we just stepped outside of our stuffy little logical adult minds, even for a second, and we let our imaginations roam, like how could life not be magical? We talked about this a few episodes ago about hoping and dreaming and how it might seem unrealistic or delusional or irresponsible. But like the author of this essay says, why do we always have to be so serious? Like, do we really think the point of it all is to like keep our heads down and pay our bills and like stress about like being stuck in traffic and like being late to a doctor's appointment, you know? Like we all have adult responsibilities as a parent of a toddler. Like, I am not immune to this. I fucking know what it's like. Have to like wake up and like do all the things and check all the boxes, but I refuse to believe that growing up means we just stop dreaming. You and I both grew up in a religion that staunchly opposed things like reincarnation, and there was like such a huge emphasis on heaven and hell. And I would say that like for most of my even like going into adulthood, like I still kind of held on to that. It wasn't until I on actually it was when I read um, oh my god, what is that fucking book? You know, the one by Liz Gilbert, where she fucking goes to like different countries. Oh my god. Eat praylus. Yes. Did you ever read this? I didn't. Okay, so in that book, she goes to it's like she goes to three countries that start with an I. Italy, India, Indonesia. Yeah. So you did so did you read it?

SPEAKER_03

I didn't read it, but but you know the whole book. I I think my sister read it and she was like telling me as she was reading it.

SPEAKER_01

But and when she's in India, her focus is on meditation, and that is when she comes across this concept of like there is no heaven and hell. That's not real. There's only one afterlife, and we all go to the same place. And when I first heard I was like in my early 20s, it's like over a decade ago, and I was like, wait, what? Like that was kind of like a little seed like planted. Anyway, you know, from that seed, I have read and been exposed to like all these different ways of thinking and like imagining. And now my own reality is that like I refuse to accept the idea that the afterlife is so black and white and that there is a heaven and hell and like all that shit. But I just I want to indulge in this idea that there's a world between worlds. Like when we talked about Journey of Souls, as soon as you know, you sent that to me and I read that, it was like my heart just like expanded with possibility. Like, oh my God, like there is so much that could be. And so, you know, like I want to believe that there's a world between worlds and that we reincarnate over and over again, and we have soulmates that we travel through multiple lifetimes with. And, you know, maybe maybe Cosmo, you know, is like one of those soulmates that I have. And in my mind, the mystical and the spiritual and the intuitive and the energetic, like all of that is just as real as this fucking couch that we're sitting on. So when we're surrounded by chaos, believing in the things that other people deem as silly is what actually just grounds me and keeps me in awe. So why wouldn't why wouldn't I choose to believe that? And who is anyone else to tell us that we're wrong when we do believe that? As the author of this essay says, I know my dog died. I held her paw as she took her last breath, but thinking about her dressed up in an astronaut suit makes me smile, and I'd rather smile.

SPEAKER_03

That is such a good reminder that we are in control over how we choose to experience this reality, and we can give in to the physicality and take things at face value, or we can add our own magic and color to it. Yeah. I think we lose some of that skill as we get older, but it's always there for us to come back to if we choose to. Yeah, I think it's one thing to recognize if you're ready to do that, you know, find what it is that you think would bring meaning to your life. That is one journey. And then another journey is letting people do that. Yeah. Without having to insert your own opinions on it. If it's not hurting you, let it be. Exactly. You know? Mm-hmm. Because yeah, why would we want to deprive someone of adding dimension to their life?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I think about your story and how we feel so confined to make decisions because that's what the world tells us we must do. But we do have agency, you know?

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01

Like even if we're bound physically by something, we still have that agency like in our minds, right?

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03

I think you and I are like realizing what our minds can do. Oh, it doesn't need to just be consumed by the present. I can open this up a little bit more. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01

Ooh. Exactly. Like, doesn't life just become so much more interesting?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. But I will also say that it has been so wonderful to do that and then feel safe to share that with you without feeling judged or feeling weird, you know? And I hope that if you're someone who is like, I don't know, well, I have reservations, at least at the minimum, just let people explore that without being annoying.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, truly.

SPEAKER_03

Let them be.

Outro

SPEAKER_01

All right, folks. Uh thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to our comedy podcast, where we laugh really, really hard and spend the whole hour telling jokes. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03

And like just being really smart and like super knowledgeable, you know, can pick up on all of these different literary devices, cinematic devices, nuances, yes. And can really condense them in such an easy, understandable way within 25 minutes each. Yeah. Thank you. I mean, no, you're welcome.

SPEAKER_01

I sorry. You're welcome. Um, but truly, truly. Thank you for lending us your ears. As always, you can leave us a review if you feel so compelled on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Give us a shout, give us a follow on social media. We're at beerbycrying.podcast. You can submit a sob story or a cry recommendation on our website, beerbcryingpodcast.com. You can DM us, you can email us hello at beerbcryingpodcast.com. Uh, we're here for you. And don't be shy to tell a friend either. We're here for them too. We beg you to share it with a friend. Out of everything I said, don't fucking listen to any of that. If you could just share it with a friend, like that's literally like all we ask. Yeah. Or share it to Florence Pu.

SPEAKER_03

Puh. Yeah. We'll go head out. Yeah. Come up with more stuff to think about.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03

And then we'll be back next week.

SPEAKER_01

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

But until then, beer bee crying.